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Boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.
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Boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.
Puns
Why didnt the lion win the race? Because he was racing a cheetah.
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Why didnt the lion win the race? Because he was racing a cheetah.
Puns
I used to have fear of hurdles — but I got over it.
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I used to have fear of hurdles — but I got over it.
Puns
They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.
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They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.
Short Jokes
How does a coffee snob take their coffee? Seriously. Very seriously.
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How does a coffee snob take their coffee? Seriously. Very seriously.
Short Jokes
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
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My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
Puns
Overall, I’d say my career as a photographer has been a bit of a blur.
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Overall, I’d say my career as a photographer has been a bit of a blur.
Social Posts
I get plenty of exercise at work: jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.
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I get plenty of exercise at work: jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.
Social Posts
I know they say that money talks, but all mine says is Goodbye.
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I know they say that money talks, but all mine says is Goodbye.
Puns
Hired someone to do a motivational talk. He came in, stood at the microphone, stared at us, and left. We were left speechless.
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Hired someone to do a motivational talk. He came in, stood at the microphone, stared at us, and left. We were left speechless.
Short Jokes
My dog accidentally swallowed a whole bag of Scrabble tiles. We took him to the vet to get him checked out. No word yet.
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My dog accidentally swallowed a whole bag of Scrabble tiles. We took him to the vet to get him checked out. No word yet.
Puns
When rabbits get divorced, it’s called splitting hares.
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When rabbits get divorced, it’s called splitting hares.
Social Posts
I wonder if Sally’s parents were like “Yeah great idea Sally. Sell seashells. On the seashore. Where there are tons of free shells. Not a very bright kid.”
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I wonder if Sally’s parents were like “Yeah great idea Sally. Sell seashells. On the seashore. Where there are tons of free shells. Not a very bright kid.”
Short Jokes
I bought a new refrigerator. You should have seen my wife’s face light up when she opened it!
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I bought a new refrigerator. You should have seen my wife’s face light up when she opened it!
Short Jokes
I walked past a farm, and a sign said, Duck, eggs. I thought that was an unnecessary comma. And then it hit me.
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I walked past a farm, and a sign said, Duck, eggs. I thought that was an unnecessary comma. And then it hit me.
Puns
Learn to spell – Auto correct isnt always write.
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Learn to spell – Auto correct isnt always write.
Social Posts
The fact that Head & Shoulders doesnt have a body wash called Knees & Toes disappoints me.
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The fact that Head & Shoulders doesnt have a body wash called Knees & Toes disappoints me.
Short Jokes
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
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I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
Puns
As a scarecrow, people say Im outstanding in my field. But hay its in my jeans.
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As a scarecrow, people say Im outstanding in my field. But hay its in my jeans.
Puns
What’s blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.
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What’s blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.
Social Posts
I visited the doctor today and he told me I was going deaf. That was difficult to hear.
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I visited the doctor today and he told me I was going deaf. That was difficult to hear.
Short Jokes
I like to swap the M and N keys on people’s keyboards at the office. Some would say that I’m a monster, but I would say I’m a nomster.
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I like to swap the M and N keys on people’s keyboards at the office. Some would say that I’m a monster, but I would say I’m a nomster.
Puns
I tried starting a hot air balloon business, but it never took off.
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I tried starting a hot air balloon business, but it never took off.