Social Posts
My wife likes it when I blow air on her when she’s hot, but honestly – I’m not a fan.
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My wife likes it when I blow air on her when she’s hot, but honestly – I’m not a fan.
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686

Social Posts
I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
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I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
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234

Short Jokes
Why it is hard for a communist to tell a joke? It’s not funny until everyone gets it.
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Why it is hard for a communist to tell a joke? It’s not funny until everyone gets it.
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503

Puns
Have you heard about the guy who stole the calendar?! He got 12 months!
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Have you heard about the guy who stole the calendar?! He got 12 months!
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952

Short Jokes
My neighbors are listening to great music. Whether they like it or not.
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My neighbors are listening to great music. Whether they like it or not.
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191

Social Posts
Funny, those road signs: “Caution – Watch for children!” I mean, how dangerous can a child be?
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Funny, those road signs: “Caution – Watch for children!” I mean, how dangerous can a child be?
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834

Puns
I told my son I’m named after Thomas Jefferson. He says, But Dad, your name is Brian. I respond, I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.
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I told my son I’m named after Thomas Jefferson. He says, But Dad, your name is Brian. I respond, I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.
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465

Puns
I just nicknamed my new phone “Titanic” so whenever it’s charging I can say “the Titanic is synching”.
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I just nicknamed my new phone “Titanic” so whenever it’s charging I can say “the Titanic is synching”.
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42

Short Jokes
What’s the difference between a lawyer and God? God doesn’t think he’s a lawyer.
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What’s the difference between a lawyer and God? God doesn’t think he’s a lawyer.
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348

Short Jokes
If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
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If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
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1245

Short Jokes
Due to unusually successful harvests of chickpeas this year, the price of hummus is going to fall dramatically. Buy the dip.
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Due to unusually successful harvests of chickpeas this year, the price of hummus is going to fall dramatically. Buy the dip.
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1188

Social Posts
My wife and I laugh about how competitive we are, but I laugh more.
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My wife and I laugh about how competitive we are, but I laugh more.
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117

Social Posts
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a workstation.
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A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a workstation.
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772

Puns
I, for one, like Roman numerals.
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I, for one, like Roman numerals.
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729

Puns
I love telling dad jokes. Sometimes, he even laughs.
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I love telling dad jokes. Sometimes, he even laughs.
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1184

Short Jokes
I saw a driver texting and driving. It made me so mad I threw my beer at him.
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I saw a driver texting and driving. It made me so mad I threw my beer at him.
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268

Short Jokes
I sympathize with batteries. I’m not included in anything either.
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I sympathize with batteries. I’m not included in anything either.
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263

Puns
The dollar store promised a free abacus with every purchase, but I wouldn’t count on it.
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The dollar store promised a free abacus with every purchase, but I wouldn’t count on it.
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1220

Short Jokes
The CEO of IKEA was elected Prime Minister in Sweden. He should have his cabinet assembled by the end of the weekend.
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The CEO of IKEA was elected Prime Minister in Sweden. He should have his cabinet assembled by the end of the weekend.
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999

Short Jokes
Pulled out a nose hair today to see it if hurt — judging by the reaction of the man asleep next to me on the plane, it seems pretty painful…
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Pulled out a nose hair today to see it if hurt — judging by the reaction of the man asleep next to me on the plane, it seems pretty painful…
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345

Puns
Me: Someone told me you sound like an owl? Friend: Who?
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Me: Someone told me you sound like an owl? Friend: Who?
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461

Short Jokes
I said to the Gym instructor “Can you teach me to do the splits?” He said, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make Tuesdays.”
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I said to the Gym instructor “Can you teach me to do the splits?” He said, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make Tuesdays.”
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553

Puns
There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator (only a fraction of people will get this joke).
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There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator (only a fraction of people will get this joke).
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991

Short Jokes
My friend gave me his EpiPen as he was dying. It seemed very important to him that I have it.?
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My friend gave me his EpiPen as he was dying. It seemed very important to him that I have it.?
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557

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