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Short Jokes
I was driving my date to her house and told her that I was not good with directions; she just laughed at me…… So I right her left there.
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I was driving my date to her house and told her that I was not good with directions; she just laughed at me…… So I right her left there.
Short Jokes
What’s the difference between a bad lawyer and a good lawyer? A bad lawyer can have a case drag on for several years. A good lawyer can make it last
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What’s the difference between a bad lawyer and a good lawyer? A bad lawyer can have a case drag on for several years. A good lawyer can make it last even longer.
Short Jokes
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?” “Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad
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A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?” “Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
Short Jokes
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?” “Why should it?” answered her
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At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?” “Why should it?” answered her spouse. “I keep telling them it’s for you.”
Short Jokes
Rushing up to a large airline’s ticket counter, a man gasped, “Miss, please help me. I have to get to Chicago in the worst way!” The clerk calmly pointed to
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Rushing up to a large airline’s ticket counter, a man gasped, “Miss, please help me. I have to get to Chicago in the worst way!” The clerk calmly pointed to her left and said, “Sir, that would be the airline next to us.”
Short Jokes
Q: How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but he has to do it while you are eating dinner.
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Q: How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but he has to do it while you are eating dinner.
Short Jokes
Two kids were bragging about the toys they owned. One of them said, “This is Action Man! He’s been in Viet Nam, Operation Desert Storm, Iraq – and the vacuum
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Two kids were bragging about the toys they owned. One of them said, “This is Action Man! He’s been in Viet Nam, Operation Desert Storm, Iraq – and the vacuum cleaner twice.
Short Jokes
Dear Grandmother, I’m sorry I forgot your birthday last week. It would serve me right if you forgot mine next Tuesday. With love, Mikey
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Dear Grandmother, I’m sorry I forgot your birthday last week. It would serve me right if you forgot mine next Tuesday. With love, Mikey
Short Jokes
Waiter, there is a hearing aid in my soup” “WHAT?”
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Waiter, there is a hearing aid in my soup” “WHAT?”
Short Jokes
Teacher: “Well, at least there’s one thing I can say about your son.” Father: “What’s that?” Teacher: “With grades like these, he couldn’t be cheating.”
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Teacher: “Well, at least there’s one thing I can say about your son.” Father: “What’s that?” Teacher: “With grades like these, he couldn’t be cheating.”
Short Jokes
Steve is playing with his 3 friends at his tree in the back garden, and his mum comes out and shouts, “If all four of you fall out of that
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Steve is playing with his 3 friends at his tree in the back garden, and his mum comes out and shouts, “If all four of you fall out of that tree and break both legs, then don’t come running to me.”
Short Jokes
What is the leading cause of dry skin? Towels.
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What is the leading cause of dry skin? Towels.
Short Jokes
Beautician: “Did that mud pack I gave you for your girlfriend improve her appearance?” Man: “It did for a while… then it fell off.”
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Beautician: “Did that mud pack I gave you for your girlfriend improve her appearance?” Man: “It did for a while… then it fell off.”
Short Jokes
“What’s wrong, Doctor? You look puzzled.” “I can’t figure out exactly what’s wrong with you. I think it’s the result of heavy drinking.” “Well then, I’ll just come back when
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“What’s wrong, Doctor? You look puzzled.” “I can’t figure out exactly what’s wrong with you. I think it’s the result of heavy drinking.” “Well then, I’ll just come back when you’re sober.”
Short Jokes
Salesman: “You make a small down payment, but then you don’t make any payments for six months.” Customer: “Who told you about me?”
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Salesman: “You make a small down payment, but then you don’t make any payments for six months.” Customer: “Who told you about me?”
Short Jokes
“Madam, your husband must have absolute rest.” “Well, Doctor, he won’t listen to me.” – “A very good beginning, madam, a very good beginning.”
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“Madam, your husband must have absolute rest.” “Well, Doctor, he won’t listen to me.” – “A very good beginning, madam, a very good beginning.”
Short Jokes
Judge: “How could you swindle people who trusted in you?” Prisoner: “But, Judge, people who don’t trust you can not be swindled.”
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Judge: “How could you swindle people who trusted in you?” Prisoner: “But, Judge, people who don’t trust you can not be swindled.”
Short Jokes
What does new age music sound like played backwards? New age music.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards? New age music.
Short Jokes
A man is buying a banana, an apple and two eggs. The cashier says: “You must be single?” The man replied: “Wow how did you know that?” Cashier: “Because you’re
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A man is buying a banana, an apple and two eggs. The cashier says: “You must be single?” The man replied: “Wow how did you know that?” Cashier: “Because you’re not that good looking.”
Short Jokes
I had to break up with my girlfriend, because she couldn’t stop counting. I wonder what she’s up to now?
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I had to break up with my girlfriend, because she couldn’t stop counting. I wonder what she’s up to now?
Short Jokes
I got the words Jacuzzi and Yakuzza mixed up, now I’m in hot water with the Japanese mafia!
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I got the words Jacuzzi and Yakuzza mixed up, now I’m in hot water with the Japanese mafia!
Short Jokes
Two clueless twins entered a store. The cashier checked them out and asked, “Are you girls sisters?” They both laughed. “Sisters? We aren’t even religious!”
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Two clueless twins entered a store. The cashier checked them out and asked, “Are you girls sisters?” They both laughed. “Sisters? We aren’t even religious!”
Short Jokes
Someone broke into my house last night and stole my limbo trophy. How low can you go?
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Someone broke into my house last night and stole my limbo trophy. How low can you go?
Short Jokes
Husband and wife went for divorce to the court. Judge: “You have 3 kids, how will you divide them?” They had a long discussion and finally wife replied, “Ok your
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Husband and wife went for divorce to the court. Judge: “You have 3 kids, how will you divide them?” They had a long discussion and finally wife replied, “Ok your honor, we will come back next year with 1 more.” 9 months later…they got twins.