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Short Jokes
Magistrate: “What was he doing when you arrested him?” Policeman: “He was arguing with a taxi driver, Your Honor.” Magistrate: “That is no proof he was drunk. “Policeman: “Well, Your
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Magistrate: “What was he doing when you arrested him?” Policeman: “He was arguing with a taxi driver, Your Honor.” Magistrate: “That is no proof he was drunk. “Policeman: “Well, Your Honor, there was no taxi driver there.”
Short Jokes
I went in to a pet shop. I said, “Can I buy a goldfish?” The guy said, “Do you want an aquarium?” I said, “I don’t care what star sign
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I went in to a pet shop. I said, “Can I buy a goldfish?” The guy said, “Do you want an aquarium?” I said, “I don’t care what star sign it is.”
Short Jokes
“Your horse is very well behaved,” the lady noted to the resting rider. “Oh, that’s true,” he replied. “When we come to a fence, he always stops quickly and lets
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“Your horse is very well behaved,” the lady noted to the resting rider. “Oh, that’s true,” he replied. “When we come to a fence, he always stops quickly and lets me go over first!”
Short Jokes
Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Website Developer: “What kind of font it is?”
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Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Website Developer: “What kind of font it is?”
Short Jokes
Girl: “My uncle ran congress last month!” Boy: “Really? What does he do now?” Girl: “Nothing. He got elected.”
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Girl: “My uncle ran congress last month!” Boy: “Really? What does he do now?” Girl: “Nothing. He got elected.”
Short Jokes
An old man says to the doctor: “Doctor, I lost my memory!” Doctor: “When did this start?” The old man: “When did what start!”
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An old man says to the doctor: “Doctor, I lost my memory!” Doctor: “When did this start?” The old man: “When did what start!”
Short Jokes
Phillip’s teacher asks him, “Can you name the Great Lakes?” Phillip, said, “I don’t need to. They’ve already been named.”
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Phillip’s teacher asks him, “Can you name the Great Lakes?” Phillip, said, “I don’t need to. They’ve already been named.”
Short Jokes
On the first day of kindergarten, the teacher said: “If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers.” A little voice from the back of the room
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On the first day of kindergarten, the teacher said: “If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers.” A little voice from the back of the room asked: “How will that help?”
Short Jokes
What do computers and air conditioners have in common? They both become useless when you open windows.
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What do computers and air conditioners have in common? They both become useless when you open windows.
Short Jokes
Opticians have the most exciting stores in the world. They’re always filled with spectacles.
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Opticians have the most exciting stores in the world. They’re always filled with spectacles.
Short Jokes
Short Jokes
Don’t be worried about your smartphone and TV spying on you. Your vacuum has been gathering dirt on you for years.
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Don’t be worried about your smartphone and TV spying on you. Your vacuum has been gathering dirt on you for years.
Short Jokes
One night a husband and wife were sleeping and suddenly the wife woke up. “Honey, wake up! I think there’s a burglar downstairs, and it sounds like they’re eating the
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One night a husband and wife were sleeping and suddenly the wife woke up. “Honey, wake up! I think there’s a burglar downstairs, and it sounds like they’re eating the cake I made!” said the wife. Half asleep, the husband answers, “So should I call the police or the ambulance?”
Short Jokes
I started a new job as a security guard last night. Before my boss left he told me I had to make sure I watched the office all night. I
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I started a new job as a security guard last night. Before my boss left he told me I had to make sure I watched the office all night. I am on season 2 already but I don’t know what it has to do with security.
Short Jokes
Prisoner: “Look here, doctor! You’ve already removed my spleen, tonsils, adenoids, and one of my kidneys. I only came to see if you could get me out of this place!”
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Prisoner: “Look here, doctor! You’ve already removed my spleen, tonsils, adenoids, and one of my kidneys. I only came to see if you could get me out of this place!” Doctor: “I am…bit by bit!”
Short Jokes
If you’re in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
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If you’re in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
Short Jokes
A woman went to buy new shoes. The shopkeeper told her the new shoes may feel a bit uncomfortable in the first couple of days. She said: “Alright I’ll start
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A woman went to buy new shoes. The shopkeeper told her the new shoes may feel a bit uncomfortable in the first couple of days. She said: “Alright I’ll start wearing them on the third day.”
Short Jokes
I’d like to give a shout out to sidewalks, for keeping me off the street.
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I’d like to give a shout out to sidewalks, for keeping me off the street.
Short Jokes
A man walks into a bar and sees a bunch of people waiting to get refreshments. He asks the bartender, “Is this really the punch line?”
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A man walks into a bar and sees a bunch of people waiting to get refreshments. He asks the bartender, “Is this really the punch line?”
Short Jokes
Thief: Give me your money. Man: I’m a politician. Thief: Then give me my money.”
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Thief: Give me your money. Man: I’m a politician. Thief: Then give me my money.”
Short Jokes
What do you call a lawyer who knows karate? A self defense attorney.
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What do you call a lawyer who knows karate? A self defense attorney.
Short Jokes
A dermatologist examined a pirate. The doctor said, “Don’t worry, those spots are benign.” The pirate replied, “No, Doc. I counted them. There be eleven!”
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A dermatologist examined a pirate. The doctor said, “Don’t worry, those spots are benign.” The pirate replied, “No, Doc. I counted them. There be eleven!”
Short Jokes
Why can’t you use “Beef stew” as a password? Because it’s not stroganoff.
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Why can’t you use “Beef stew” as a password? Because it’s not stroganoff.
Short Jokes
My town’s population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.
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My town’s population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.