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Short Jokes
I have a large seashell collection which I keep scattered all over the world.
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I have a large seashell collection which I keep scattered all over the world.
Short Jokes
How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam? An itsy bitsy book.
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How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam? An itsy bitsy book.
Short Jokes
For her birthday present, I took my wife to an orchard, and we stood there looking at the trees for half an hour. Not the Apple Watch she was expecting
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For her birthday present, I took my wife to an orchard, and we stood there looking at the trees for half an hour. Not the Apple Watch she was expecting apparently.
Short Jokes
“My advice for your date is, make her think you’re well traveled, girls love it!” Meanwhile, me: “Guess how many buses it took me to get here?.”
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“My advice for your date is, make her think you’re well traveled, girls love it!” Meanwhile, me: “Guess how many buses it took me to get here?.”
Short Jokes
Tim: “I haven’t slept for days.” Jim: “Wow, you must be tired.” Tim: “Not really. I sleep nights.”
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Tim: “I haven’t slept for days.” Jim: “Wow, you must be tired.” Tim: “Not really. I sleep nights.”
Short Jokes
I told my wife her belly was too big. She said, “That’s a bit below the belt.” “Exactly.” I said.
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I told my wife her belly was too big. She said, “That’s a bit below the belt.” “Exactly.” I said.
Short Jokes
“Good afternoon. Incontinence hotline. Can you hold please?”
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“Good afternoon. Incontinence hotline. Can you hold please?”
Short Jokes
Shout out to the people who want to know what the opposite of in is.
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Shout out to the people who want to know what the opposite of in is.
Short Jokes
What does Santa Claus say when he loses his hearing aid? Huh? Huh? Huh?
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What does Santa Claus say when he loses his hearing aid? Huh? Huh? Huh?
Short Jokes
My grandfather had his tongue shot off in the war. Never, ever talked about it though.
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My grandfather had his tongue shot off in the war. Never, ever talked about it though.
Short Jokes
I had a terrible day yesterday. As I was walking home, a man in a wheelchair stole my camouflage jacket! As he was wheeling away, I shouted after him, “you
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I had a terrible day yesterday. As I was walking home, a man in a wheelchair stole my camouflage jacket! As he was wheeling away, I shouted after him, “you can hide but you can’t run.”
Short Jokes
Someone broke in last night and stole all my anti-depressants. I hope they’re happy.
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Someone broke in last night and stole all my anti-depressants. I hope they’re happy.
Short Jokes
“Mom! Deaf kids at school are making fun of me.” “What did they say?”
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“Mom! Deaf kids at school are making fun of me.” “What did they say?”
Short Jokes
Who is the coolest guy in the hospital? The Ultrasound guy!
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Who is the coolest guy in the hospital? The Ultrasound guy!
Short Jokes
Did you know that bowling alleys are really quiet? You can hear a pin drop!
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Did you know that bowling alleys are really quiet? You can hear a pin drop!
Short Jokes
My dad is kind of a square because he’s never been around.
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My dad is kind of a square because he’s never been around.
Short Jokes
A Sunday school teacher was reading Bible stories to their young class… “A man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his
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A Sunday school teacher was reading Bible stories to their young class… “A man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to a pillar of salt.” One child asked, “What happened to the flea?”
Short Jokes
I used to be in a band called “Sold Out”. Our gig posters looked great, but no-one ever came.
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I used to be in a band called “Sold Out”. Our gig posters looked great, but no-one ever came.
Short Jokes
My dad asked me the other day: “Are you even listening to me?” Which is a really weird way to start a conversation if you ask me.
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My dad asked me the other day: “Are you even listening to me?” Which is a really weird way to start a conversation if you ask me.
Short Jokes
What does Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? They both have the same middle name.
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What does Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? They both have the same middle name.
Short Jokes
I went on a once in a lifetime holiday. Never again.
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I went on a once in a lifetime holiday. Never again.
Short Jokes
Just got over my Phil Collin’s addiction, so take a look at me now.
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Just got over my Phil Collin’s addiction, so take a look at me now.
Short Jokes
Dear Wine Expert: How much should I spend on a really good bottle of wine? A half-hour? Twenty minutes?
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Dear Wine Expert: How much should I spend on a really good bottle of wine? A half-hour? Twenty minutes?
Short Jokes
Make the little things count, teach midgets Math.
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Make the little things count, teach midgets Math.