Short Jokes - David's Clean Jokes - Page 17

Short Jokes

Tom: Did you ever see a catfish? Joe: Sure! Tom: How did it hold the rod?

Short Jokes

My wife is threatening to leave me for never putting the toilet seat down. To be honest, I’m getting a little tired of carrying it around anyway.

Short Jokes

Why are the great pyramids in Egypt? Because they were too heavy to carry off to the British museum.

Short Jokes

I’m proud of my job as a podium salesman. It’s a product I can stand behind.

Short Jokes

As I shopped, the following announcement came over the department store’s PA system: “If someone here has a convertible with the top down, it just started raining. Towels are located

Short Jokes

I’m not a competitive person. I’m always the first to admit it.

Short Jokes

My wife often compares me to Ryan Gosling. She’ll say, “You’re nothing like Ryan Gosling.

Short Jokes

I once saw a laundromat next door to a church. Proving the adage, “Cleanliness is next to Godliness.”

Short Jokes

My friend said to me, what rhymes with berries. I said, it certainly does not.

Short Jokes

My parents said that my brother’s grown another foot since last year, so I bought him socks for his birthday.

Short Jokes

I asked my girlfriend where she wanted to go for lunch. “Somewhere with class, somewhere people are educated,” she said, so I took her to a High School cafeteria.

Short Jokes

My friend held up a white flag and asked me to guess what it means. I shrugged my shoulders and said, “I give up.”

Short Jokes

I think my wife spilled syrup all over the letter tiles while playing Scrabble during breakfast this morning…She denies it, but I’m sticking to my words!

Short Jokes

A model was walking down the runway…She got hit by an airplane.

Short Jokes

This year I made my New Year’s Resolution…To finish everything I sta…

Short Jokes

“My Dog has no nose.” “How does he smell?” “Awful”

Short Jokes

How arrogant do you need to be to apply to be a model? Pretty.

Short Jokes

If you give someone a late present…does that make it a past?

Short Jokes

Cop: “Do you know how fast you were going?” Driver: “Apparently not fast enough, you caught up with me.”

Short Jokes

I once shot a deer in my pajamas… How it got in my pajamas, I will never know.

Short Jokes

“What’s new at work, dear?” “Nothing. Remember: I teach history!”

Short Jokes

The kid that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the other hand, he makes great Subway sandwiches.

Short Jokes

My wife told me to get our son ready for his first day at school, so I pushed him down, and stole his lunch money.

Short Jokes

My daughter told me she saw a deer on the way to school. I said, “How do you know it was going to school?”