David's Clean Jokes

Short Jokes

My teacher didn’t believe me when I said I had 36 pets so I showed her a picture of my fish tank.

Short Jokes

I want to see the look on the burglar’s face that breaks into our house when he opens the drawer full of soy sauce packets, wet naps, & individually wrapped

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214

Short Jokes

I’m making a new documentary on how to fly a plan. We’re currently filming the pilot.

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700

Short Jokes

My boss want to sign us up for a 401k. No way I’m running that far.

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601

Short Jokes

I used to work at a stationery store. But, I didn’t feel like I was going anywhere. So, I got a job at a travel agency. Now, I know I’ll

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389

Short Jokes

What is the NSA?A government organization that actually listens to you.

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1196

Short Jokes

My dad used to say “The first rule is to always leave them wanting more”. Great great…terrible anesthetist.

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121

Short Jokes

I am sad that my case of laryngitis is so bad. It’s not easy for me to talk about.

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469

Short Jokes

Forr summe reaeson, i’ve nevver yett wun a gaim of Skrabel.

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1164

Short Jokes

Had my first book signing. Signed 57 books before the librarian thew me out.

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259

Short Jokes

Got fired from the whiskey factory. I applied for unemployment benefits, but they said I have no proof that I worked there.

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867

Short Jokes

I am really thankful to my primary school math teacher who taught me how to subtract numbers. He really encouraged me to make a difference.

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109

Short Jokes

I got a book titled “A Guide to Surgical Procedures”… I opened it and the appendix was missing.

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862

Short Jokes

My wife says I draw too many graphs, but I know where to draw the line.

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325

Short Jokes

How do you get 100 math teachers into a room that only fits 99? You carry the 1.

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404

Short Jokes

Not to brag about my finances or anything, but my bank calls me everyday to tell me that my balance is outstanding.

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861

Short Jokes

I just read that the repair of The Big Ben took more than three years. That’s a lot of time…working round the clock.

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1086

Short Jokes

“Customer: When I bought this car, you guaranteed that you would fix anything that broke. Car dealer: Yes, that’s right. Customer: Well, I need a new garage!”

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1179