Short Jokes
“Have you got any kittens going cheap?” asked a customer in a pet shop. “No, sir,” replied the owner. “All our kittens go, ‘Meow.’”
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“Have you got any kittens going cheap?” asked a customer in a pet shop. “No, sir,” replied the owner. “All our kittens go, ‘Meow.’”
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Short Jokes
My wife told me the other day that I don’t take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station.
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My wife told me the other day that I don’t take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station.
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Short Jokes
Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab? The scientists were brainstorming!
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Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab? The scientists were brainstorming!
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Short Jokes
My doctor advised me to cut down on my sodium intake…I took his advice with a pinch of salt.
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My doctor advised me to cut down on my sodium intake…I took his advice with a pinch of salt.
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Short Jokes
This is a Want to hear a joke about the construction industry? Too bad, they’re still working on it.
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This is a Want to hear a joke about the construction industry? Too bad, they’re still working on it.
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Short Jokes
My boss made me go into the office on Labor Day. Halfway through the day, he came in to check up on me and caught me having a beer. He
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My boss made me go into the office on Labor Day. Halfway through the day, he came in to check up on me and caught me having a beer. He said to me, “You can’t drink while you’re working. “I said, “Oh, don’t worry – I’m not working.”
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Short Jokes
Where do sharks go on summer vacation? Finland!
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Where do sharks go on summer vacation? Finland!
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Short Jokes
I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.
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I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.
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Short Jokes
My son was like “I got a D in my math class” and I was like “That’s really bad” … and my wife was like … “you need to stop
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My son was like “I got a D in my math class” and I was like “That’s really bad” … and my wife was like … “you need to stop doing his homework.”
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Short Jokes
It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?
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It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?
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Short Jokes
I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck!
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I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck!
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Short Jokes
My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.”
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My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.”
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Short Jokes
Just got hospitalized due to a peekaboo accident. They put me in the ICU.
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Just got hospitalized due to a peekaboo accident. They put me in the ICU.
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Short Jokes
My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30am last night! Can you believe that?! Fortunately, I was still up practicing my bagpipes.
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My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30am last night! Can you believe that?! Fortunately, I was still up practicing my bagpipes.
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Short Jokes
My roommate says our house is haunted. I’ve been living here for 300 years and i haven’t noticed any ghost.
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My roommate says our house is haunted. I’ve been living here for 300 years and i haven’t noticed any ghost.
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Short Jokes
Q: How do scarecrows decide who should be the head scarecrow? A: They take a straw poll.
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Q: How do scarecrows decide who should be the head scarecrow? A: They take a straw poll.
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Short Jokes
The teacher to a student: “Conjugate the verb “to walk” in simple present.” The student: “I walk. You walk….” The teacher interrupts him: “Quicker please.” The student: “I run. You
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The teacher to a student: “Conjugate the verb “to walk” in simple present.” The student: “I walk. You walk….” The teacher interrupts him: “Quicker please.” The student: “I run. You run…”
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Short Jokes
What did the chicken say when it got to the library? “Book book book book book book book…”
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What did the chicken say when it got to the library? “Book book book book book book book…”
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Short Jokes
I bought the world’s worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it’s terrible.
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I bought the world’s worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it’s terrible.
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Short Jokes
How do you know if someone is hitchhiking or just complimenting your driving?
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How do you know if someone is hitchhiking or just complimenting your driving?
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Short Jokes
After dinner, my wife asked if I could clear the table. I needed a running start, but I made it.
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After dinner, my wife asked if I could clear the table. I needed a running start, but I made it.
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Short Jokes
Rancher: “What kind of saddle do you want? One with or without a horn?” Cowboy: “Without is fine. There doesn’t seem to be much traffic around here.”
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Rancher: “What kind of saddle do you want? One with or without a horn?” Cowboy: “Without is fine. There doesn’t seem to be much traffic around here.”
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Short Jokes
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
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Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
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Short Jokes
A husband raced into his house. “I’ve found a great job!” he exclaimed to his wife. “The pay is incredible, they offer free medical insurance, and give three weeks’ vacation!”
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A husband raced into his house. “I’ve found a great job!” he exclaimed to his wife. “The pay is incredible, they offer free medical insurance, and give three weeks’ vacation!” “That does sound wonderful,” said the wife. “I’m glad you think so,” replied her husband. “You start tomorrow.”
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