David's Clean Jokes

Short Jokes

Which two words have the most letters in them? Post office.

Short Jokes

Every year, the teacher sent a note home with each child that read, Dear Parents, if you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, Ill promise

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1055

Short Jokes

My Dad said, always leave them wanting more. Ironically, thats how he lost his job in disaster relief.

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874

Short Jokes

Teacher: Correct this sentence: It was me who broke the window. Joey: “It wasnt me who broke the window.”

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391

Short Jokes

Why are penguins so awkward at parties? Because they can’t break the ice.

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119

Short Jokes

A man went into a seafood restaurant and asked for a lobster tail. The waitress smiled sweetly and said, Once upon a time there was this handsome lobster

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515

Short Jokes

Why dont pirates take a shower before they walk the plank? They just wash up on shore.

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1036

Short Jokes

Someone stole all my lamps you’d think I’d be upset…but I’m actually delighted.

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364

Short Jokes

Im sure wherever my Dad is, hes looking down on us. Hes not dead, just very condescending.

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503

Short Jokes

I said to the gym instructor: Can you teach me to do the splits? He said: How flexible are you? I said: I cant make Tuesdays.”

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758

Short Jokes

My father drank so heavily, when he blew on his birthday cake, he lit the candles.”

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794

Short Jokes

I was having dinner with a world chess champion and there was a check tablecloth. It took them two hours to pass the salt.

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922

Short Jokes

My first child has gone off to college and I feel a great emptiness in my life. Specifically, in my checking account.

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462

Short Jokes

How come the fridge is always emotionally stable? Because its always chill.

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975

Short Jokes

Teacher: “Which book has helped you the most in your life?” Student: “My father’s check book!”

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705

Short Jokes

I think my wife is putting glue on my antique weapons collection. She denies it but I’m sticking to my guns.

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793

Short Jokes

Miss Evans addressed her third-grade class after recess: Did anyone lose a dollar on the playground? I did, Miss Evans, said Rob. A dollar bill fell out of my pocket.

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907