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Short Jokes
An old deaf guy gets fitted for a hearing aid, and it works like a charm. He comes back a week later and the doctor asks, “Is your family happy
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An old deaf guy gets fitted for a hearing aid, and it works like a charm. He comes back a week later and the doctor asks, “Is your family happy that you can hear again?” And he says, “I haven’t told them, I just sit around and listen… I have changed my will three times!
Short Jokes
My grandfather had his tongue shot off in the war. Never, ever talked about it though.
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My grandfather had his tongue shot off in the war. Never, ever talked about it though.
Short Jokes
I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Don’t read it.
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I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Don’t read it.
Short Jokes
People say the man who sold me invisible hearing aids is a con-man, but I don’t want to hear it.
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People say the man who sold me invisible hearing aids is a con-man, but I don’t want to hear it.
Short Jokes
I had a job as a street cleaner. No formal training, I just picked it up as I went along.
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I had a job as a street cleaner. No formal training, I just picked it up as I went along.
Short Jokes
A police officer stops a young woman for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys would get
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A police officer stops a young woman for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!”
Short Jokes
I told my boss that three companies were after me and I need a raise. My boss asked, “What companies?” I replied, “Gas, water, and electricity.”
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I told my boss that three companies were after me and I need a raise. My boss asked, “What companies?” I replied, “Gas, water, and electricity.”
Short Jokes
They say you will eat around 23 spiders in your lifetime, but really, you can eat as many as you want.
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They say you will eat around 23 spiders in your lifetime, but really, you can eat as many as you want.
Short Jokes
I saw a homeless guy on the street with a sign that said: “One day, this could be you.” I put my money back in my pocket, just in case
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I saw a homeless guy on the street with a sign that said: “One day, this could be you.” I put my money back in my pocket, just in case he’s right.
Short Jokes
My wife told me that she was leaving me because I wouldn’t deal with my OCD. I told her to close the door twelve times on her way out.
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My wife told me that she was leaving me because I wouldn’t deal with my OCD. I told her to close the door twelve times on her way out.
Short Jokes
My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.
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My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.
Short Jokes
I know my dog loves me, but if I had a squeaker inside me, she’d gut me like a fish.
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I know my dog loves me, but if I had a squeaker inside me, she’d gut me like a fish.
Short Jokes
People who cheat on their taxes make me so angry. This is not the kind of world I want to raise my 23 dependents in.
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People who cheat on their taxes make me so angry. This is not the kind of world I want to raise my 23 dependents in.
Short Jokes
What do you call a lawyer who knows karate? A self defense attorney.
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What do you call a lawyer who knows karate? A self defense attorney.
Short Jokes
Me: Can I open a joint account? Banker: Sure, with who? Me: I’m not picky, anyone who is rich.
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Me: Can I open a joint account? Banker: Sure, with who? Me: I’m not picky, anyone who is rich.
Short Jokes
On the first day of kindergarten, the teacher said: “If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers.” A little voice from the back of the room
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On the first day of kindergarten, the teacher said: “If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers.” A little voice from the back of the room asked: “How will that help?”
Short Jokes
Yesterday I purchased a world map…gave my wife a dart and said to her, “Throw this and wherever it lands, I’m taking you there on vacation”. Turns out we’re spending
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Yesterday I purchased a world map…gave my wife a dart and said to her, “Throw this and wherever it lands, I’m taking you there on vacation”. Turns out we’re spending two weeks behind the refrigerator.
Short Jokes
TEACHER: “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?” LOUIS: “Because George still
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TEACHER: “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?” LOUIS: “Because George still had the axe in his hand.”
Short Jokes
Lawyers are safe from the threat of automation taking over their professions. No one would build a robot to do nothing.
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Lawyers are safe from the threat of automation taking over their professions. No one would build a robot to do nothing.
Short Jokes
HE: Go on, don’t be shy. Ask me out! SHE: “Okay, get out.”
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HE: Go on, don’t be shy. Ask me out! SHE: “Okay, get out.”
Short Jokes
The doctor came in to see his patient, and said, “Dan, I have some good news and some bad news. “Dan said, “Give me the good news doctor. The doctor
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The doctor came in to see his patient, and said, “Dan, I have some good news and some bad news. “Dan said, “Give me the good news doctor. The doctor say, “They’re going to name a disease after you!”.
Short Jokes
I called the cops on my own party last night because I was ready to go to bed…
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I called the cops on my own party last night because I was ready to go to bed…
Short Jokes
I misplaced Dwayne Johnson’s cutting tool for the origami workshop. I can’t believe I lost the Rock’s Paper Scissors.
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I misplaced Dwayne Johnson’s cutting tool for the origami workshop. I can’t believe I lost the Rock’s Paper Scissors.
Short Jokes
My father was never proud of me. One day he asked me, “How old are you?”, I said, “I’m five.” – He said, “When I was your age I was
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My father was never proud of me. One day he asked me, “How old are you?”, I said, “I’m five.” – He said, “When I was your age I was six.”