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Short Jokes
Mother: “Did you enjoy your first day at school?” Girl: “First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?”
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Mother: “Did you enjoy your first day at school?” Girl: “First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?”
Short Jokes
Teacher: Jackie, please use the word “climate” in a sentence please. Jackie: Sure, I have a cherry tree in my backyard, but my parents won’t let me “climate” Teacher: Interesting.
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Teacher: Jackie, please use the word “climate” in a sentence please. Jackie: Sure, I have a cherry tree in my backyard, but my parents won’t let me “climate” Teacher: Interesting. Teacher: Now, Luis use the word “arrest” in a sentence. Luis: Sure, after running a mile I need “arrest”.
Short Jokes
Manager: “Henry, you wear an old fashioned coat in the office.” Henry: “Yes, it is a bit out of date. I bought it the last time I got a rise.”
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Manager: “Henry, you wear an old fashioned coat in the office.” Henry: “Yes, it is a bit out of date. I bought it the last time I got a rise.”
Short Jokes
My phone has this cool app that shows me what I would look like as an old person. It’s called Camera.
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My phone has this cool app that shows me what I would look like as an old person. It’s called Camera.
Short Jokes
I drank so much Vodka last night that this morning I woke up with a Russian accent.
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I drank so much Vodka last night that this morning I woke up with a Russian accent.
Short Jokes
I grilled a chicken for two hours…It still wouldn’t tell me why it crossed the road.
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I grilled a chicken for two hours…It still wouldn’t tell me why it crossed the road.
Short Jokes
My grandfather invented the cold air balloon…It never really took off.
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My grandfather invented the cold air balloon…It never really took off.
Short Jokes
DAUGHTER: I have to use the bathroom. ME: *pulls into rest stop* DAUGHTER: Thanks. ME: Make sure youre back in 5 minutes. DAUGHTER: I will. ME: We accidentally left your
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DAUGHTER: I have to use the bathroom. ME: *pulls into rest stop* DAUGHTER: Thanks. ME: Make sure youre back in 5 minutes. DAUGHTER: I will. ME: We accidentally left your brother behind once. DAUGHTER: I dont have a brother. ME: Exactly.
Short Jokes
“I know a surgeon who puts organs back in upside down. He says its an inside joke.”
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“I know a surgeon who puts organs back in upside down. He says its an inside joke.”
Short Jokes
Why did the robot go on summer vacation? He needed to recharge his batteries.
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Why did the robot go on summer vacation? He needed to recharge his batteries.
Short Jokes
Zach: “Why do cows wear bells around their necks?” ELLIOT: “Why?” ZACH: “Because their horns dont work.
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Zach: “Why do cows wear bells around their necks?” ELLIOT: “Why?” ZACH: “Because their horns dont work.
Short Jokes
The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.
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The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.
Short Jokes
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because the octopus was well armed.
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Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because the octopus was well armed.
Short Jokes
Mildred got a phone call. “Mrs. Roberts, I understand that each of us grieves in our own way, but the crematorium staff did not appreciate you putting fireworks in your
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Mildred got a phone call. “Mrs. Roberts, I understand that each of us grieves in our own way, but the crematorium staff did not appreciate you putting fireworks in your late husband’s pockets!”
Short Jokes
My wife discovered I was cheating on her when she found a bunch of letters that I had hidden. She is really angry with me and says that she will
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My wife discovered I was cheating on her when she found a bunch of letters that I had hidden. She is really angry with me and says that she will never play Scrabble with me gain.
Short Jokes
Question: Who says oh oh oh? Answer: Santa walking backwards.
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Question: Who says oh oh oh? Answer: Santa walking backwards.
Short Jokes
I poured root beer in a square glass. Now I just have beer.
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I poured root beer in a square glass. Now I just have beer.
Short Jokes
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
Short Jokes
Teacher: “Tommy, do you know the present tense of knew?” Tommy: “No, Sir.” Teacher: “Correct.”
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Teacher: “Tommy, do you know the present tense of knew?” Tommy: “No, Sir.” Teacher: “Correct.”
Short Jokes
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces.
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Welcome to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces.
Short Jokes
I tried horse racing once, but I fell at the first fence. I might have done better if I had a horse.
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I tried horse racing once, but I fell at the first fence. I might have done better if I had a horse.
Short Jokes
Waiter: “I just wanted to let you know kids eat free.” Dad: “Good, I’ll have water and my son will have the steak and a kid’s light beer.”
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Waiter: “I just wanted to let you know kids eat free.” Dad: “Good, I’ll have water and my son will have the steak and a kid’s light beer.”
Short Jokes
“When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.”
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“When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.”
Short Jokes
I read a book about an immortal dog. It was impossible to put down.
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I read a book about an immortal dog. It was impossible to put down.