Short Jokes - David's Clean Jokes - Page 36

Short Jokes

The inventor of Morse code has sadly passed away. Dashes to dashes dots to dots.

Short Jokes

I went into a shop today and asked why their exit sign was flickering on and off. The shopkeeper said, “it’s on the way out.”

Short Jokes

I saw my neighbor stealing my socks off my washing line. I was going to confront him but I got cold feet.

Short Jokes

I saw two huge black birds in my garden this morning and they were stuck together. Turns out they were velcrows.

Short Jokes

Im afraid of negative numbers, and Ill stop at nothing to avoid them.

Short Jokes

I went to that new restaurant, Karma. Theres no menu, you just get what you deserve.

Short Jokes

I’ve invented a game called Silent Tennis. It’s like regular tennis but without the racquet.

Short Jokes

I used to date the invisible woman. Now, thinking about it, I don’t know what I saw in her.

Short Jokes

I wanted to be an astronaut when I was a kid but my parents told me the sky was the limit.

Short Jokes

Keep the dream alive hit your snooze button.

Short Jokes

My water bed is much bouncier now that I’ve filled it with spring water.

Short Jokes

Teacher: “Which one is closer, Sun or Africa?” Johnny: “Sun” Teacher: “Why?” Johnny: “We can see the sun all the time, but can’t see Africa.”

Short Jokes

A guy in my neighborhood is in the hospital after he had an accident where he was electrocuted. He’s ok now, and he’s looking forward to being discharged soon.

Short Jokes

To the person who stole my train set…what goes around comes around.

Short Jokes

Clones are people two.

Short Jokes

I just put up a high voltage electric fence around my house. My neighbor is dead against it.

Short Jokes

The real estate agent says, “I have a good, cheap apartment for you. “The man replies, “By the week or by the month?” The agent answers, “By the garbage dump..”

Short Jokes

The person who invented individual butter servings deserves a pat on the back.

Short Jokes

People think learning Roman numbers is difficult, but when you get to 159, everything CLIX.

Short Jokes

He claims that he owns the world’s small soup pot, but I wouldn’t put much stock in it.

Short Jokes

Only small babies are delivered by stork, the big ones need a crane.

Short Jokes

I just heard they wont be making rulers any longer.

Short Jokes

I’ve started a business recycling chewing gum…I’m having trouble getting it off the ground.

Short Jokes

By shear coincidence, all these sheep look the same.