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Short Jokes
A chicken and an egg walk into a bar. The barman says, “Who’s first?”
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A chicken and an egg walk into a bar. The barman says, “Who’s first?”
Short Jokes
I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect.
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I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect.
Short Jokes
I bet jellyfish are sad that there are no peanut butter fish.
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I bet jellyfish are sad that there are no peanut butter fish.
Short Jokes
Sam: Hey John! John: Hey! Sam: Did you know Microsoft just bought Skype for ten million dollars? John: Really!? Idiots…they could have downloaded it for free.
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Sam: Hey John! John: Hey! Sam: Did you know Microsoft just bought Skype for ten million dollars? John: Really!? Idiots…they could have downloaded it for free.
Short Jokes
I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought…I don’t even have a coconut!
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I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought…I don’t even have a coconut!
Short Jokes
Teacher: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? John: You told me to do it without using tables.
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Teacher: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? John: You told me to do it without using tables.
Short Jokes
Before I became a full time comedian, I worked in an office and one day my boss asked me to start the meeting off with a joke, so I passed
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Before I became a full time comedian, I worked in an office and one day my boss asked me to start the meeting off with a joke, so I passed around my pay stub.
Short Jokes
My eyes were bothering me so I went to an optimist. He said, “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.”
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My eyes were bothering me so I went to an optimist. He said, “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.”
Short Jokes
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Short Jokes
A woman looks in the mirror and says “I look fat” and then asks her husband to give her a compliment. He says, “Ok, you have perfect eye sight.”
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A woman looks in the mirror and says “I look fat” and then asks her husband to give her a compliment. He says, “Ok, you have perfect eye sight.”
Short Jokes
I used to be a bookworm, then I discovered books on tape…now I’m a tapeworm.
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I used to be a bookworm, then I discovered books on tape…now I’m a tapeworm.
Short Jokes
I’m getting totally fed up with people whining about the price of things…$2.50 for ice tea, $3.50 for a coffee, $4 for a slice of cake, and $5 to park.
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I’m getting totally fed up with people whining about the price of things…$2.50 for ice tea, $3.50 for a coffee, $4 for a slice of cake, and $5 to park. Anymore complaining and I’m going to stop inviting people over.
Short Jokes
To the person who invented infinity: “Thanks for everything.”
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To the person who invented infinity: “Thanks for everything.”
Short Jokes
My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at the zoo.
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My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at the zoo.
Short Jokes
I asked the bus driver “How long will the next bus be?” He replied “Same length as this one.”
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I asked the bus driver “How long will the next bus be?” He replied “Same length as this one.”
Short Jokes
Just got a new job as a church bell ringer It’s my first day so they’re just showing me the ropes.
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Just got a new job as a church bell ringer It’s my first day so they’re just showing me the ropes.
Short Jokes
So this guy stopped me in town today and said, “What a lovey part of the country you live in, have you lived here all your life? … I said,
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So this guy stopped me in town today and said, “What a lovey part of the country you live in, have you lived here all your life? … I said, “No, not yet.”
Short Jokes
Every morning after I leave the house, a bike comes out of nowhere and runs me over…it’s a vicious cycle.
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Every morning after I leave the house, a bike comes out of nowhere and runs me over…it’s a vicious cycle.
Short Jokes
Sign at the Urologist’s office: URINE good hands.
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Sign at the Urologist’s office: URINE good hands.
Short Jokes
My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs! I’ve been his customer for 4 years, but I had no idea he was a barber.
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My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs! I’ve been his customer for 4 years, but I had no idea he was a barber.
Short Jokes
Short Jokes
Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?
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Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?
Short Jokes
This guy in the pub sold me a rare, antique map of the Sahara Desert for only $20 last night. This morning when I sobered up I realized that i
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This guy in the pub sold me a rare, antique map of the Sahara Desert for only $20 last night. This morning when I sobered up I realized that i was a sheet of sandpaper.
Short Jokes
A bank robber pulls out gun points it at the teller, and says, “Give me all the money or you’re geography!” The puzzled teller replies, “Did you mean to say
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A bank robber pulls out gun points it at the teller, and says, “Give me all the money or you’re geography!” The puzzled teller replies, “Did you mean to say ‘or you’re history?’” The robber says, “Don’t change the subject!”