Short Jokes
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?” “Why should it?” answered her
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At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?” “Why should it?” answered her spouse. “I keep telling them it’s for you.”
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166

Short Jokes
My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem, but they don’t really know me.
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My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem, but they don’t really know me.
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1097

Short Jokes
Swimming is good for you…especially if you’re drowning.
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Swimming is good for you…especially if you’re drowning.
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80

Short Jokes
My friends will ask me, “Hey, since you were adopted, would you ever consider adoption?” I’m like, “Yes. Absolutely. If I ever have kids, I want them to go to
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My friends will ask me, “Hey, since you were adopted, would you ever consider adoption?” I’m like, “Yes. Absolutely. If I ever have kids, I want them to go to a good home”.
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957

Short Jokes
One time my dad gave me a bat for my birthday and it flew away.
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One time my dad gave me a bat for my birthday and it flew away.
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859

Short Jokes
Do you know what I love most about baseball? The pine tar, the resin, the grass, the dirt. And that’s just in the hot dogs.
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Do you know what I love most about baseball? The pine tar, the resin, the grass, the dirt. And that’s just in the hot dogs.
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699

Short Jokes
I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.
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I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.
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109

Short Jokes
I am originally from Indiana. I know what most of you are thinking…Indiana – mafia.
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I am originally from Indiana. I know what most of you are thinking…Indiana – mafia.
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231

Short Jokes
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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1205

Short Jokes
You can lead a man to Congress, but you can’t make him think.
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You can lead a man to Congress, but you can’t make him think.
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92

Short Jokes
When I was a kid, even my imaginary friend played with the kid across the street. I’d be, like, “Hey, so I guess I’ll see you later,” and he’s, like,
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When I was a kid, even my imaginary friend played with the kid across the street. I’d be, like, “Hey, so I guess I’ll see you later,” and he’s, like, “Whatever”.
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408

Short Jokes
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend to read it.
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From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend to read it.
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292

Short Jokes
People tell me I take mini-golf too seriously, but my caddy disagrees.
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People tell me I take mini-golf too seriously, but my caddy disagrees.
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726

Short Jokes
When I asked my personal trainer at the gym which machine I should use to impress beautiful women he pointed outside and said the ATM machine.
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When I asked my personal trainer at the gym which machine I should use to impress beautiful women he pointed outside and said the ATM machine.
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864

Short Jokes
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
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795

Short Jokes
I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.
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I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.
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221

Short Jokes
Overall, I’d say my career as a photographer has been a bit of a blur.
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Overall, I’d say my career as a photographer has been a bit of a blur.
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448

Short Jokes
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
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Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
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1202

Short Jokes
I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
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I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
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458

Short Jokes
Someone asked me if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring: ‘How to Build a Boat’.
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Someone asked me if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring: ‘How to Build a Boat’.
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992

Short Jokes
I’m not a Republican…but I’m saving up to be one.
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I’m not a Republican…but I’m saving up to be one.
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57

Short Jokes
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
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Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
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260

Short Jokes
A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
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A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
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249

Short Jokes
I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 because I like that one-to-one time.
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I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 because I like that one-to-one time.
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