Short Jokes
Two executives were talking in the executive washroom. “My wife just old me this morning that I don’t display enough passion. Imagine the audacity! I’m going to send her a
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Two executives were talking in the executive washroom. “My wife just old me this morning that I don’t display enough passion. Imagine the audacity! I’m going to send her a memo.”
Short Jokes
Father: “So you want to be my son-in-law, do you?” Boyfriend: “Not particularly, but since I want to marry your daughter, I haven’t much choice.”
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Father: “So you want to be my son-in-law, do you?” Boyfriend: “Not particularly, but since I want to marry your daughter, I haven’t much choice.”
Short Jokes
Any pencil can be a number 2 pencil if you eat it.
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Any pencil can be a number 2 pencil if you eat it.
Short Jokes
An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and relieves himself on the woman’s head. “Yech!” says the woman. “Get some toilet paper.” “What for?” says
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An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and relieves himself on the woman’s head. “Yech!” says the woman. “Get some toilet paper.” “What for?” says the her husband. “He must be half-a-mile away by now.”
Short Jokes
“My ancestry goes back all the way to Alexander the Great,” said Christine. She then turned to Miriam and asked, “How far back does your family go?””I don’t know,” replied
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“My ancestry goes back all the way to Alexander the Great,” said Christine. She then turned to Miriam and asked, “How far back does your family go?””I don’t know,” replied Miriam, “all of our records were lost in the flood.”
Short Jokes
Why did Star Wars, episodes 4, 5, and 6 come out before episodes 1, 2, and 3? Because in charge of release dates, Yoda was.
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Why did Star Wars, episodes 4, 5, and 6 come out before episodes 1, 2, and 3? Because in charge of release dates, Yoda was.
Short Jokes
There isn’t really any training for garbagemen. They just pick things up as they go.
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There isn’t really any training for garbagemen. They just pick things up as they go.
Short Jokes
I actually saw two catholic sisters walking into a bar and thought what a great opportunity for a joke. Unfortunately I could think of none.
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I actually saw two catholic sisters walking into a bar and thought what a great opportunity for a joke. Unfortunately I could think of none.
Short Jokes
Not to brag, but I have this weird talent in guessing what’s inside a wrapped present. It’s a gift.
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Not to brag, but I have this weird talent in guessing what’s inside a wrapped present. It’s a gift.
Short Jokes
Father: “Son, when Abraham Lincoln was your age, he walked 12 miles to school.” Son: “Dad, when Abraham Lincoln was your age, he was President.”
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Father: “Son, when Abraham Lincoln was your age, he walked 12 miles to school.” Son: “Dad, when Abraham Lincoln was your age, he was President.”
Short Jokes
Some people are so ungrateful If I’ve made you breakfast in bed all I need is a simple “thank you” None of this “how did you get in my house”
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Some people are so ungrateful If I’ve made you breakfast in bed all I need is a simple “thank you” None of this “how did you get in my house” nonsense.
Short Jokes
My dad asked me the other day: “Are you even listening to me?” Which is a really weird way to start a conversation if you ask me.
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My dad asked me the other day: “Are you even listening to me?” Which is a really weird way to start a conversation if you ask me.
Short Jokes
My son was upset that he came in last at the Karate competition. He was kicking himself.
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My son was upset that he came in last at the Karate competition. He was kicking himself.
Short Jokes
School teacher sends home a note with student. The note reads, ”Your son is an obedient and bright student, but spends too much time talking to girls.” Mother sends a
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School teacher sends home a note with student. The note reads, ”Your son is an obedient and bright student, but spends too much time talking to girls.” Mother sends a note back the following day, ”Please advise a solution. Father has the same problem.”
Short Jokes
My partners in the geology lab were upset about not sharing my earthquake data. It’s completely my fault though.
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My partners in the geology lab were upset about not sharing my earthquake data. It’s completely my fault though.
Short Jokes
Our dog brings us the newspaper every day. Funny thing is, we’ve never subscribed to any.
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Our dog brings us the newspaper every day. Funny thing is, we’ve never subscribed to any.
Short Jokes
I just tried to kill a spider with hair spray. He’s still alive, andhis hair looks amazing.
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I just tried to kill a spider with hair spray. He’s still alive, andhis hair looks amazing.
Short Jokes
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
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I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
Short Jokes
Gary: “I don’t think I deserve a zero on this test.” Teacher: “I agree, but it’s the lowest mark I can give you.”
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Gary: “I don’t think I deserve a zero on this test.” Teacher: “I agree, but it’s the lowest mark I can give you.”
Short Jokes
If you serve your kids frozen vegetables and frozen chicken nuggets, you’re a terrible parent.
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If you serve your kids frozen vegetables and frozen chicken nuggets, you’re a terrible parent.
Short Jokes
A mom and a son come home from the grocery store. The boy immediately empties out a box of animal crackers and the mom asks him why. The boy says,
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A mom and a son come home from the grocery store. The boy immediately empties out a box of animal crackers and the mom asks him why. The boy says, “You should not eat it if the seal is broken, so I’m looking for the seal.”
Short Jokes
A drunk wakes up in jail, “Why am I here officer?” “For drinking.” replies the cop.” Great” says the man. “When do we start?”
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A drunk wakes up in jail, “Why am I here officer?” “For drinking.” replies the cop.” Great” says the man. “When do we start?”
Short Jokes
My wife is a body builder…she’s pregnant.
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My wife is a body builder…she’s pregnant.
Short Jokes
How to stop two blind guys from fighting? Shout, “I’m betting on the guy with the knife”.
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How to stop two blind guys from fighting? Shout, “I’m betting on the guy with the knife”.
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