Short Jokes
Living on earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year.
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Living on earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year.
Short Jokes
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He later told me it was the most violent book he’d ever read.
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I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He later told me it was the most violent book he’d ever read.
Short Jokes
I was in Florida and saw a car with a bumper sticker reading: “I miss the Bronx.” So I broke the window, stole the radio, and left a note saying,
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I was in Florida and saw a car with a bumper sticker reading: “I miss the Bronx.” So I broke the window, stole the radio, and left a note saying, “I hope this helps.”
Short Jokes
It’s so cold outside that I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
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It’s so cold outside that I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
Short Jokes
Why is it such a big deal that I don’t know what the word “apocalypse” means – It’s not the end of the world.
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Why is it such a big deal that I don’t know what the word “apocalypse” means – It’s not the end of the world.
Short Jokes
A man went to a shopping mall. He saw a sign by an escalator that said “Dogs must be carried on this escalator.” The man then spent the next two
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A man went to a shopping mall. He saw a sign by an escalator that said “Dogs must be carried on this escalator.” The man then spent the next two hours looking for a dog.
Short Jokes
Student to teacher after missing the first day of school? “No, ma’am. I didn’t miss it at all.”
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Student to teacher after missing the first day of school? “No, ma’am. I didn’t miss it at all.”
Short Jokes
Mother: “Did you eat all the cookies. Tom?” Tom: “I didn’t touch one.” Mother: “That’s strange. There’s only one left.” Tom: “That’s the one I didn’t touch.”
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Mother: “Did you eat all the cookies. Tom?” Tom: “I didn’t touch one.” Mother: “That’s strange. There’s only one left.” Tom: “That’s the one I didn’t touch.”
Short Jokes
Little Johnny’s 2nd grade teacher was quizzing them on the alphabet. “Johnny,” she says, “what comes after ‘O’?” Johnny says, “Yeah.”
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Little Johnny’s 2nd grade teacher was quizzing them on the alphabet. “Johnny,” she says, “what comes after ‘O’?” Johnny says, “Yeah.”
Short Jokes
I had a terrible day yesterday. As I was walking home, a man in a wheelchair stole my camouflage jacket! As he was wheeling away, I shouted after him, “you
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I had a terrible day yesterday. As I was walking home, a man in a wheelchair stole my camouflage jacket! As he was wheeling away, I shouted after him, “you can hide but you can’t run.”
Short Jokes
I went on a once in a lifetime holiday. Never again.
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I went on a once in a lifetime holiday. Never again.
Short Jokes
What does Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? They both have the same middle name.
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What does Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? They both have the same middle name.
Short Jokes
The judge read the charges, then asked: “Are you the defendant in this case?” “No, your honor,” replied Tommy. “I’ve got a lawyer to do the defending. I’m the person
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The judge read the charges, then asked: “Are you the defendant in this case?” “No, your honor,” replied Tommy. “I’ve got a lawyer to do the defending. I’m the person who did it.”
Short Jokes
“It’s no good, sir,” said the hopeless pupil to his English teacher. “I try to learn, but everything you say goes in both ears and out the other.” “Goes in
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“It’s no good, sir,” said the hopeless pupil to his English teacher. “I try to learn, but everything you say goes in both ears and out the other.” “Goes in both ears and out the other?” asked the puzzled teacher. “But you only have two ears.” “You see, sir? I’m no good at math, either.”
Short Jokes
Because of my age people often mistake me for an adult.
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Because of my age people often mistake me for an adult.
Short Jokes
A child named Bob was running through the neighbor’s backyard. “Hey!” shouted the neighbor, “I thought I told you not to let me catch you here again!” “Right!” replied the
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A child named Bob was running through the neighbor’s backyard. “Hey!” shouted the neighbor, “I thought I told you not to let me catch you here again!” “Right!” replied the boy, “and you haven’t caught me yet.”
Short Jokes
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. It.
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I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. It.
Short Jokes
Two five year-olds, one Jewish, the other Catholic, are playing in a sandpit. Sean says to David, “Our priest knows more about things than your rabbi!” To which David replies,
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Two five year-olds, one Jewish, the other Catholic, are playing in a sandpit. Sean says to David, “Our priest knows more about things than your rabbi!” To which David replies, “Of course he does, you tell him everything.”
Short Jokes
On the first day of her vacation, a woman fell and broke her leg. As the doctor examined her, she moaned, “Why couldn’t this have happened on my last day
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On the first day of her vacation, a woman fell and broke her leg. As the doctor examined her, she moaned, “Why couldn’t this have happened on my last day of skiing?” He looked up. “This is your last day of skiing.”
Short Jokes
George Washington was such a great president. He never blamed any of the country’s problems on the previous administration.
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George Washington was such a great president. He never blamed any of the country’s problems on the previous administration.
Short Jokes
A man walks into a dentist’s and says, “Can you help me? I think I’m a moth.” The dentist says, “You need a psychiatrist.” The man says, “Yes, I know.”
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A man walks into a dentist’s and says, “Can you help me? I think I’m a moth.” The dentist says, “You need a psychiatrist.” The man says, “Yes, I know.” The dentist replies, “Well, why have you come in here?” “Your light was on.”
Short Jokes
Lady: “Is this my train?” Station Master: “No, it belongs to the railway company.” Lady: “Don’t try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train
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Lady: “Is this my train?” Station Master: “No, it belongs to the railway company.” Lady: “Don’t try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New York.” Station Master: “No Madam, I’m afraid it’s too heavy.”
Short Jokes
Pete and Mick were in court and standing before the judge. “Why can’t this case be settled out of court?” the judge asked. Pete looked up at the judge and
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Pete and Mick were in court and standing before the judge. “Why can’t this case be settled out of court?” the judge asked. Pete looked up at the judge and said, “That’s what we were trying to do, your honor, when the police interfered.
Short Jokes
An abstract noun,” the teacher said, “is something you can think of, but you can’t touch it. Can you give me an example of one?” “Sure,” a teenage boy replied.
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An abstract noun,” the teacher said, “is something you can think of, but you can’t touch it. Can you give me an example of one?” “Sure,” a teenage boy replied. “My father’s new car.”
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