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Short Jokes
Little Mikey’s parents were going out, and Mikey said, “For 20 bucks, Dad, I’ll be good.” “Oh please,” said his father. “When I was your age, I was good for
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Little Mikey’s parents were going out, and Mikey said, “For 20 bucks, Dad, I’ll be good.” “Oh please,” said his father. “When I was your age, I was good for nothing.”
Short Jokes
I saw a sign in the casino that read, “Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER.” So, I called them and said, “I got an ace and a six. The dealer has a
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I saw a sign in the casino that read, “Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER.” So, I called them and said, “I got an ace and a six. The dealer has a seven. What should I do?”
Short Jokes
I can already say with 100% confidence that the upcoming weekend wasn’t long enough.
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I can already say with 100% confidence that the upcoming weekend wasn’t long enough.
Short Jokes
Patient: “Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up; something to put me in a fighting mood. Did you put something like that in this prescription?” Doctor: “No
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Patient: “Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up; something to put me in a fighting mood. Did you put something like that in this prescription?” Doctor: “No need for that. You will find that in your bill.”
Short Jokes
Teacher: “Larry, name two pronouns.” Larry: “Who, Me?” Teacher: “That answer is correct.”
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Teacher: “Larry, name two pronouns.” Larry: “Who, Me?” Teacher: “That answer is correct.”
Short Jokes
I failed my driver’s test. The guy asked me “What do you do at a red light?” I said, “I don’t know… look around, listen to the radio.”
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I failed my driver’s test. The guy asked me “What do you do at a red light?” I said, “I don’t know… look around, listen to the radio.”
Short Jokes
When you pull a pin out of a grenade, how do you put it back? Urgent and quick answers, plea…
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When you pull a pin out of a grenade, how do you put it back? Urgent and quick answers, plea…
Short Jokes
Children certainly brighten up a home…whoever saw a child under 12 turn off an electric light?
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Children certainly brighten up a home…whoever saw a child under 12 turn off an electric light?
Short Jokes
A child comes home from his first day at school.His mother asks, “Well, what did you learn today?”The kid replies, “Not enough. They want me to come back tomorrow.”
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A child comes home from his first day at school.His mother asks, “Well, what did you learn today?”The kid replies, “Not enough. They want me to come back tomorrow.”
Short Jokes
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
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Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
Short Jokes
“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate
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“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.”
Short Jokes
I can’t remember the last time I forgot something.
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I can’t remember the last time I forgot something.
Short Jokes
It doesn’t matter what temperature the room is; it’s always room temperature.
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It doesn’t matter what temperature the room is; it’s always room temperature.
Short Jokes
I used to own an ant farm but had to give it up. I couldn’t find tractors small enough to fit it.
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I used to own an ant farm but had to give it up. I couldn’t find tractors small enough to fit it.
Short Jokes
It feels amazing to walk into a store and buy whatever I want without lookin gat the price tag. Thank you Dollar Tree.
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It feels amazing to walk into a store and buy whatever I want without lookin gat the price tag. Thank you Dollar Tree.
Short Jokes
What weighs more, a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers? The ton of feathers because you have to live with the weight of what you did to those
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What weighs more, a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers? The ton of feathers because you have to live with the weight of what you did to those poor birds.
Short Jokes
Whenever I get a stack of resumes on my desk at work, I always pick half at random and throw them out. Don’t need unlucky people working in my departme
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Whenever I get a stack of resumes on my desk at work, I always pick half at random and throw them out. Don’t need unlucky people working in my departme
Short Jokes
A child said to the pastor after a Sunday Service: “Dear Pastor, I would like to go to heaven some day because I know my brother won’t be there.”
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A child said to the pastor after a Sunday Service: “Dear Pastor, I would like to go to heaven some day because I know my brother won’t be there.”
Short Jokes
Did the person who invented the phrase “one-hit wonder” invent any other popular phrases?
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Did the person who invented the phrase “one-hit wonder” invent any other popular phrases?
Short Jokes
I just released my own fragrance. The people sitting near me on the bus don’t look like they appreciate it though.
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I just released my own fragrance. The people sitting near me on the bus don’t look like they appreciate it though.
Short Jokes
I’m not saying that my wife orders a lot from Amazon, I’m just saying that if I got a job as a UPS delivery driver, they’d probably let me work
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I’m not saying that my wife orders a lot from Amazon, I’m just saying that if I got a job as a UPS delivery driver, they’d probably let me work from home.
Short Jokes
A woman answered the doorbell with a man standing on her porch. The man said, “I’m terribly sorry. I just ran over your cat and I would like to replace
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A woman answered the doorbell with a man standing on her porch. The man said, “I’m terribly sorry. I just ran over your cat and I would like to replace it for you.” The woman replied, “Well that’s alright with me, but how are you at catching mice?”
Short Jokes
My grandmother reached 100 yesterday. That’s the last time I get in the car with her when she’s late for bingo.
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My grandmother reached 100 yesterday. That’s the last time I get in the car with her when she’s late for bingo.
Short Jokes
When I was in school my nickname was “Batteries” because I was never included in anything.
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When I was in school my nickname was “Batteries” because I was never included in anything.