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Short Jokes
John was furious when his steak arrived too rare. “Waiter,” he shouted, “Didn’t you hear me say ‘well done’?” “I can’t thank you enough, sir,” replied the waiter. “I hardly
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John was furious when his steak arrived too rare. “Waiter,” he shouted, “Didn’t you hear me say ‘well done’?” “I can’t thank you enough, sir,” replied the waiter. “I hardly ever get a compliment.”
Short Jokes
My patience is basically like a gift card. Not sure how much is left on it but we can give it a try.
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My patience is basically like a gift card. Not sure how much is left on it but we can give it a try.
Short Jokes
Military Academy Teacher: “How come you do not comb your hair?” Billy: “No comb, Sir.” Teacher: “Use your dad’s then.” Billy: “No hair, Sir.”
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Military Academy Teacher: “How come you do not comb your hair?” Billy: “No comb, Sir.” Teacher: “Use your dad’s then.” Billy: “No hair, Sir.”
Short Jokes
I had to disconnect my carbon monoxide detector. The constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel nauseated.
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I had to disconnect my carbon monoxide detector. The constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel nauseated.
Short Jokes
Did you hear about the guy that got an AM radio? It took him a month to realize he could play it at night.
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Did you hear about the guy that got an AM radio? It took him a month to realize he could play it at night.
Short Jokes
Teacher: “What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!” Student: “Yes it’s really strange. I’ve got another pair just
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Teacher: “What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!” Student: “Yes it’s really strange. I’ve got another pair just like that at home.”
Short Jokes
11:38 – Arrived at crime scene. 11:38 – Examined body. Signs of a struggle. 11:38 – Found murder weapon in drain. 11:38 – Realized watch was broken.
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11:38 – Arrived at crime scene. 11:38 – Examined body. Signs of a struggle. 11:38 – Found murder weapon in drain. 11:38 – Realized watch was broken.
Short Jokes
The wife stands by door, not sure what to say. “Honey, why is your whole upper half covered in baby oil?”“Well, you’re always saying I never glisten,” replies the husband…“Listen!
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The wife stands by door, not sure what to say. “Honey, why is your whole upper half covered in baby oil?”“Well, you’re always saying I never glisten,” replies the husband…“Listen! I said, you never LISTEN!”
Short Jokes
Teacher: “I hope I didn’t see you copying the test from your friend.” Student: “I hope you didn’t either.”
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Teacher: “I hope I didn’t see you copying the test from your friend.” Student: “I hope you didn’t either.”
Short Jokes
99.9% of all lawyers make the other ones look bad.
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99.9% of all lawyers make the other ones look bad.
Short Jokes
A bank robber pulls out a gun, points it at the teller, and says, “Give me all the money or you’re geography!” The puzzled teller replies, “Did you mean to
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A bank robber pulls out a gun, points it at the teller, and says, “Give me all the money or you’re geography!” The puzzled teller replies, “Did you mean to say ‘or you’re history?” The robber says, “Don’t change the subject!”
Short Jokes
Little Johnny’s new baby brother was screaming up a storm. He asked his mom, “Where’d we get him?” His mother says, “Heaven, Johnny. “Johnny says, “Geez, I can see why
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Little Johnny’s new baby brother was screaming up a storm. He asked his mom, “Where’d we get him?” His mother says, “Heaven, Johnny. “Johnny says, “Geez, I can see why they threw him out.”
Short Jokes
TEACHER: “Maria, go to the map and find North America.” MARIA: “Here it is.” TEACHER: “Correct. Now class, who discovered America?” CLASS: “Maria.”
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TEACHER: “Maria, go to the map and find North America.” MARIA: “Here it is.” TEACHER: “Correct. Now class, who discovered America?” CLASS: “Maria.”
Short Jokes
My Goldfish are named “one” and “two”. If one dies, I still have two.
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My Goldfish are named “one” and “two”. If one dies, I still have two.
Short Jokes
My Grandfather built me a car entirely out of wood. It had wooden seats, wooden doors, wooden steering wheel, wooden floors and a wooden engine. Unfortunately when I tried to
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My Grandfather built me a car entirely out of wood. It had wooden seats, wooden doors, wooden steering wheel, wooden floors and a wooden engine. Unfortunately when I tried to start it, it wooden work.
Short Jokes
Teacher: “Oscar, if you had five pieces of candy, and Joey asked for one, how many would you have left?” Oscar: “Five.”
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Teacher: “Oscar, if you had five pieces of candy, and Joey asked for one, how many would you have left?” Oscar: “Five.”
Short Jokes
A big company offered $50 for each money-saving idea submitted by its employees. First prize went to the employee who suggested the award be cut to $25.
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A big company offered $50 for each money-saving idea submitted by its employees. First prize went to the employee who suggested the award be cut to $25.
Short Jokes
Teacher: “If you found five dollars in one pocket and ten dollars in the other, what would you have?” Willy: “Somebody else’s pants.”
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Teacher: “If you found five dollars in one pocket and ten dollars in the other, what would you have?” Willy: “Somebody else’s pants.”
Short Jokes
There was a child named Laura. She asked her mom what the hardest report she ever had to do was. Her mom said, “It was to write an essay on
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There was a child named Laura. She asked her mom what the hardest report she ever had to do was. Her mom said, “It was to write an essay on the belly of a frog.” Laura said, “Wow!! How did you get the frog in to the typewriter.”
Short Jokes
Patient: Nurse, I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes. Nurse: Have you seen a doctor? Patient: No, just spots.
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Patient: Nurse, I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes. Nurse: Have you seen a doctor? Patient: No, just spots.
Short Jokes
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
Short Jokes
Short Jokes
Grey hair is hereditary – you get it from your kids.
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Grey hair is hereditary – you get it from your kids.
Short Jokes
I passed my ethics exam. Naturally, I cheated.
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I passed my ethics exam. Naturally, I cheated.