Short Jokes
Hospital gowns are like insurance: they never cover as much as you think they do!
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Hospital gowns are like insurance: they never cover as much as you think they do!
Short Jokes
I’m as bored as an Amish electrician.
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I’m as bored as an Amish electrician.
Short Jokes
99.9% of people are idiots. Fortunately, I belong to the 1% of intelligent people.
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99.9% of people are idiots. Fortunately, I belong to the 1% of intelligent people.
Short Jokes
Mom: Having trouble with your computer, son? Son: My PC says it can’t see my printer. Mom: I’m not surprised. Look how messy your room is.
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Mom: Having trouble with your computer, son? Son: My PC says it can’t see my printer. Mom: I’m not surprised. Look how messy your room is.
Short Jokes
Freshman: “Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he can cut.” Senior: “Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he needs to attend.”
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Freshman: “Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he can cut.” Senior: “Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he needs to attend.”
Short Jokes
Women always seem to want security. At least that’s what they yell whever I approach them.
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Women always seem to want security. At least that’s what they yell whever I approach them.
Short Jokes
My treadmill company has been doing great. We’re retaining a lot of customers. We’re so proud of the fact that these people are going nowhere.
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My treadmill company has been doing great. We’re retaining a lot of customers. We’re so proud of the fact that these people are going nowhere.
Short Jokes
Did you know that 61.8 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot?
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Did you know that 61.8 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot?
Short Jokes
A priest was walking down the street when he saw a little boy jumping up and down to try to reach a doorbell. So the priest walked over and pressed
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A priest was walking down the street when he saw a little boy jumping up and down to try to reach a doorbell. So the priest walked over and pressed the button for the youngster. “And now what, my little man?” he asked. “Now,” said the boy, “run away…fast!.”
Short Jokes
Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn’t live there.
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Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn’t live there.
Short Jokes
YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.
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YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.
Short Jokes
Like I said before, I never repeat myself.
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Like I said before, I never repeat myself.
Short Jokes
A father watched his young son practice baseball in the backyard by throwing the ball up and swinging at it. Time and time again the bat missed contact. The boy
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A father watched his young son practice baseball in the backyard by throwing the ball up and swinging at it. Time and time again the bat missed contact. The boy noticed his father watching, and said, “Wow, Dad! Aren’t I a great pitcher.”
Short Jokes
I lent a friend of mine $5000 for plastic surgery. I can’t get it back, because now I don’t know what he looks like.
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I lent a friend of mine $5000 for plastic surgery. I can’t get it back, because now I don’t know what he looks like.
Short Jokes
A man went to see the doctor with a sprained ankle. The doctor said, “Don’t worry, you’ll be walking in no time.” Then the doctor grabbed his the patience car
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A man went to see the doctor with a sprained ankle. The doctor said, “Don’t worry, you’ll be walking in no time.” Then the doctor grabbed his the patience car keys, ran out and drove away.
Short Jokes
Teacher: “Jackie, please use the word “climate” in a sentence please.” Jackie: “Sure, I have a cherry tree in my backyard, but my parents won’t let me climate.”
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Teacher: “Jackie, please use the word “climate” in a sentence please.” Jackie: “Sure, I have a cherry tree in my backyard, but my parents won’t let me climate.”
Short Jokes
The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse: You cannot post “Thou Shalt Not Steal,” “Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery” and “Thou Shall Not Lie”
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The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse: You cannot post “Thou Shalt Not Steal,” “Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery” and “Thou Shall Not Lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.
Short Jokes
I don’t believe in reincarnation, which is strange, because in a previous existence, I did.
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I don’t believe in reincarnation, which is strange, because in a previous existence, I did.
Short Jokes
Received a text from the wife saying she was breaking up with me. Imagine how relieved I was when a couple minutes later she texted, “Sorry, wrong number”.
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Received a text from the wife saying she was breaking up with me. Imagine how relieved I was when a couple minutes later she texted, “Sorry, wrong number”.
Short Jokes
The hotels bathrobes are so thick, I can’t get my suitcase closed.
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The hotels bathrobes are so thick, I can’t get my suitcase closed.
Short Jokes
Q. How do you get a man to do sit-ups? A. Put the remote control between his toes.
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Q. How do you get a man to do sit-ups? A. Put the remote control between his toes.
Short Jokes
Louis was talking to his friend Pete. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my Becky,” he said, “and there’s nothing Becky wouldn’t do for me, and that’s how we go
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Louis was talking to his friend Pete. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my Becky,” he said, “and there’s nothing Becky wouldn’t do for me, and that’s how we go through life – doing nothing for each other.”
Short Jokes
Went for a job interview as a blacksmith and the guy asked me if I had ever shoed a horse. I said, “no, but I’ve told a donkey to go
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Went for a job interview as a blacksmith and the guy asked me if I had ever shoed a horse. I said, “no, but I’ve told a donkey to go away”.
Short Jokes
Me, looking at a barn full of feed: Who’s all that for? Farmer: The cattle eat it. Me: Dang, that’s one hungry cat.
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Me, looking at a barn full of feed: Who’s all that for? Farmer: The cattle eat it. Me: Dang, that’s one hungry cat.
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