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Short Jokes
I’m not saying I live in a rich neighborhood, but the ducks in my local park only eat freshly baked bread.
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I’m not saying I live in a rich neighborhood, but the ducks in my local park only eat freshly baked bread.
Short Jokes
Young lady to minister: “We’re here to get married.” Minister: “I can’t marry you to a man who’s so obviously drunk! Besides, you’ve been here before and I told you
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Young lady to minister: “We’re here to get married.” Minister: “I can’t marry you to a man who’s so obviously drunk! Besides, you’ve been here before and I told you the same thing.” “That’s true, sir, but when he ain’t drunk, I can’t get him here!”
Short Jokes
If you rearrange the letters of MAILMEN…They get really upset.
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If you rearrange the letters of MAILMEN…They get really upset.
Short Jokes
For those of you wondering, yes I am re-tired. I was tired yesterday and today I am tired again.
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For those of you wondering, yes I am re-tired. I was tired yesterday and today I am tired again.
Short Jokes
Nothing embarrasses a psychic more than throwing them a surprise birthday party.
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Nothing embarrasses a psychic more than throwing them a surprise birthday party.
Short Jokes
My girlfriend complains a lot that I don’t smile anymore. Well she’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.
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My girlfriend complains a lot that I don’t smile anymore. Well she’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.
Short Jokes
To the person who stole my place in the queue…I’m after you now.
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To the person who stole my place in the queue…I’m after you now.
Short Jokes
Policeman: You’re going to prison for forgery. Me: *Slides him a $37 bill.* “What about now?”
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Policeman: You’re going to prison for forgery. Me: *Slides him a $37 bill.* “What about now?”
Short Jokes
A burglar broke into our house last night. I didn’t shoot him. I just put the red laser dot on his forehead. Our three cats did the rest.
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A burglar broke into our house last night. I didn’t shoot him. I just put the red laser dot on his forehead. Our three cats did the rest.
Short Jokes
My wifi password is “writtenontherouter”…I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it’s literally “writtenontherouter”.
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My wifi password is “writtenontherouter”…I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it’s literally “writtenontherouter”.
Short Jokes
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand.
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What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand.
Short Jokes
A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you!”
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A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you!”
Short Jokes
Lawyer: “Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me? Did you steal the car?” Client: “After hearing your amazing argument in court this morning, I’m beginning to think
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Lawyer: “Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me? Did you steal the car?” Client: “After hearing your amazing argument in court this morning, I’m beginning to think I didn’t.”
Short Jokes
I asked the flight attendant to switch my seat as I was next to a screaming baby. Apparently you’re not allowed to do that if the baby is yours.
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I asked the flight attendant to switch my seat as I was next to a screaming baby. Apparently you’re not allowed to do that if the baby is yours.
Short Jokes
I was on a train and this woman opposite looked at me and said, “Every time you smile, I feel like inviting you to my place – “I asked, “Do
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I was on a train and this woman opposite looked at me and said, “Every time you smile, I feel like inviting you to my place – “I asked, “Do you like me?” She replied “No, I’m a dentist.”
Short Jokes
I used to not like Newtons cookies, but now they’re my favorite snack. Go fig.
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I used to not like Newtons cookies, but now they’re my favorite snack. Go fig.
Short Jokes
I nearly got a tattoo of my life motto the other day. “Never back out.”
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I nearly got a tattoo of my life motto the other day. “Never back out.”
Short Jokes
The fact that no babies have been named Gary for like 30 years means that somewhere out there is the penultimate Gary and indeed, the final Gary.
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The fact that no babies have been named Gary for like 30 years means that somewhere out there is the penultimate Gary and indeed, the final Gary.
Short Jokes
Why didn’t the chef graduate from his culinary class? He didn’t finish the main course.
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Why didn’t the chef graduate from his culinary class? He didn’t finish the main course.
Short Jokes
A penguin walks into a bar, goes to the counter and says to the barman, “Have you seen my brother?” The barman says, “I don’t know. What does he look
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A penguin walks into a bar, goes to the counter and says to the barman, “Have you seen my brother?” The barman says, “I don’t know. What does he look like.”
Short Jokes
Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.
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Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.
Short Jokes
A pizza delivery man hands a monk a pizza. The monk then pays for it with a $20 bill. As the delivery man starts to walk away, the Buddhist then
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A pizza delivery man hands a monk a pizza. The monk then pays for it with a $20 bill. As the delivery man starts to walk away, the Buddhist then says, Where’s my change?” The delivery man replies, “Change comes from within.”
Short Jokes
Shout out to the people who want to know what the opposite of in is.
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Shout out to the people who want to know what the opposite of in is.
Short Jokes
What does Santa Claus say when he loses his hearing aid? Huh? Huh? Huh?
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What does Santa Claus say when he loses his hearing aid? Huh? Huh? Huh?